A Light in the Darkness

Sometimes God causes you to wander through the darkness so the light inside your soul will shine brighter, drawing the attention of others who blindly wander in the dark without a light.

 

Sometimes, God causes you to wander through the darkness so the light inside your soul will shine brighter, drawing your attention to God—the light of the world.

Sometimes we are blinded or distracted by the lights around us that we don’t truly see the light of Jesus. Those other lights may be artificial, Satan-manufactured lights like disguised tragedies. Or they can be well-meaning things that have taken on an artificial light—stuff like going into slumps of going-through-the-motions.

Sometimes, perhaps, God allows Satan to test our desire for going to church, for singing, for serving in different ministries. Satan places circumstances around us like a person who makes us feel worthless, or a system that pressures us in doing things just to be able to say “I did x-amount of such-such, I’ve done enough to keep people off my back.” When that continues, our desires for those things dwindle. Why go to church if you are made to feel worthless? Why serve if you’re forced into thinking you have to do such-such just to keep people off your back?

 

Thus begins our journey in the darkness. We no longer have the lights of ministry, church, or motions around us. The only lights in sight are the lights in the distance(who knows where they lead?) and the light in our souls. However, right now that light isn’t shining too brightly.

 

Suddenly, there a flash of light emits from our souls, illuminating a pathway in front of us—away from the other lights. But as quickly as the light shone brightly, the light dimmed back to its previous luster.

 

We have a choice: Stand here, doing nothing, blinded by the darkness created by circumstances; Step toward the pathway that just was lit up by the light in our souls; or Walk toward the lights in the distance.

 

God’s will in all of this is for us to choose the path(Not the tragedies in the distance, disguising themselves as lights), and follow the path until the light in our souls shines as bright as the sun. And once that light shines as bright as the sun, we are no longer in darkness. And the circumstances that darkened the skies previously can now be resolved. The person who made you feel worthless can be confronted. Confrontation doesn’t guarantee resolution. Confrontation guarantees a clear conscience on your part. 

The system that pressured you to do things just to please man now encourages you to do things to please God and deepen your relationship with him—to grow.

 

Because you are dwelling in the light, you can see you are not worthless. Because you are in the light, you can see that the pressure in the system was a pressure to please God all along(or at least its purest intentions are such).

 

That is God’s will for darkness. He didn’t create it, but he allows it. When it is allowed, the light we took for granted before becomes much more valuable to us.

 

Don’t pile on the blankets on the light in our souls when darkness shrouds us. Don’t close your eyes to the small bursts of light that radiates from our souls, directing us to the brighter day. God wants you to cling to the light in our souls—to cling to Jesus. When we abide in Him, his light grows. Not because it was insufficient to begin with, but as the window of our soul is washed clean, the light is more brightly seen.

 

-Kevin

Worthlessness.

One of the easiest thing to trigger an avalanche of pride. It doesn’t help to solve things like this with saying their sin, but the truth of the matter is that they are sin. When you are constantly thinking you are worthless(whether circumstances in life genuinely feel that way, or you are blowing things out of proportion), you are constantly putting yourself in the center of your focus. And that is pride. God should have the center of your focus.

 

But, forgetting for just a second the fact of the present sin worthlessness causes, I want to point out some future scenarios God has placed on my heart that comes from a worthless feeling.

 

When you give in to the feeling of worthlessness, when you trust Satan’s word over God’s, you will naturally begin to seek ways to show yourself you are not worthless—or show others you are not worthless.

I remember in my own life, I felt worthless so I would instigate petty arguments with people, trying to show my “knowledge” or come out on top. (That just got me into problems senseless to delve into here).

 

Since arguing wasn’t going for me and only got me in trouble, I went out to, tactlessly, other people asking them flat out if I was worthless to them. Or I would make a comment that would force them into an uncomfortable corner that produced a testimony that I wasn’t worthless.

 

But, I soon saw the error of that, and switched tactics. I’m not sure if I wanted to add sin to sin by finding sinful ways to satisfy my longing of worth, but I desperately wanted to feel needed, wanted, accepted. So, I went on to pointing out the good qualities I had to offer to others. (I remember one time where I blatantly stood up and proclaimed to a group of teens the first time we got together that I could do such-n’-such for the group.)

Even now I find myself sneaking into the spotlight with comments and actions to make myself look worthy of care and acceptance.

 

But now I look to you, Reader. Do you feel worthless? Do you feel hardly anyone cares for you? Do you feel like you can never do what people want from you?

 

Don’t pursue paths mentioned above. Don’t stumble into the trap of “I must be in the spotlight so people notice I’m not worthless.” It won’t take you anywhere good in the end. (Perhaps it will satisfy your temporary longing for worth, but hardly ever anything more for too long).

 

I want to help you, Reader. You are worthless of anything to make you deserve God’s love. But that shouldn’t bring you down. Because, despite the fact of your worthlessness to earn God’s love, he loves and cares for you.

Psalm 3:3 But Thou O lord, art a shield about me, My glory, and the One who lifts my head.

Psalm 30:11 Thou has turned for me my mourning into dancing; Thou has loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness.

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill, and destroy; I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly.

Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

II Corinthians 1:4 Who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

 

Matt. 10:29-30  Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.

But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.

 

Jer. 29:11  For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

 

And as a closing thought, we shouldn’t do things in life to please men. That obviously would include trying to prove to others you matter.

Eph 6:6-8
Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;

With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men:

Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether [he be] bond or free.

 

God cares for you. Consume your thoughts on that truth. God loves you, envelop your thinking around that.

Prayer

Recently, as I think I’ve stated in previous entries, I’ve been burdened for a friend of mine. And within the past week or so I’ve been burdened more and more to pray for this individual.

During the message tonight(Though the topic was unrelated to this matter), God and I had a powwow. I began praying again for my friend because I was impressed again to pray for him. So, I was initially carrying on hypothetical conversation in my head with a youth worker at my church.

“What should I do if God lays on my heart constantly to pray for someone?”

Obvious reply, “Pray for them”.

Then I thought, “Well, what if God is giving me this burden to talk to them, help them, guide them? Am I given this to immerse myself in their problems for their benefit?”

Then God took over. “Why can’t you simply pray? Are you so without faith that you can’t trust me to handle it? True, I use people to further my will, but do you recall my word ‘Lean not unto thine own understandings, and in all thy ways acknowledge Him’? Your heart is deceitful. Leaning on your understandings of any matter, but this matter in particular, you will come to a point where you “understanding” thins out. I will handle this. He is my child, and I love him. When I want you to help him beyond asking me to help, I will bring him to you in my time.”

 

 

So, there apparently are things he needs to learn. Things he has to know now. He knows I’m praying for him, he knows I’m always there for him—I’ve told him such. It isn’t my place to pry open his heart. He has to open it himself.

 

How little faith it is to think there has to be something more than just praying to help. I’m coming before the throne of the one who made heaven and earth, who divided the Red Sea with his breath, the one who created me—created my friend. I’m asking His divine help. I’m begging Him to intervene and work mighty wonders in his life.

 

In the end of it all, I must acknowledge God. I must trust in the Lord with all my heart—not leaning on my own understanding. He hears the cries of His children. He loves me, and he loves my friend. I must realize praying may be one of the most powerful things I can do—because it is beseeching the help of the one who can help. I may screw things up if I try to intervene in my time, in my understanding, in my strength. But in God’s time, in God’s understanding, in God’s strength my friend will be healed. “Confess you faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

 

Healing begins with prayer. Prayer avails much when God hearkens to it. God hearkens pray to those whose hearts regard not sin.

 

 

May this situation push me to live right in God’s eyes so he will hear my cry, so he will attend to the needs of my friend.

 

-Kevin

“And not to please ourselves”

“We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let everyone of us please his neighbor for his good to edification. For even Christ pleased not himself, but, as it is written, the reproaches of them that reproached thee fell on me.” –Romans 15:1-3

 

At my church, in the youth group, we have opportunities to study God’s Word and to memorize it. We are supplied lists of verses to study on different subjects. For today, I went about studying a verse sheet categorized on “serving.”

 

Lately, I’ve been really burdened for my friends who are struggling and hurting. I love to help people, and it hurts me when my friends hurt—and hurts even more when there isn’t anything I can do.

So, because of that, I’ve been praying hard about a particular friend. Uncertainties cloud my mind as to what I ought to do. I want to help, but I don’t know how. I want to be there for him, but I don’t want to come across as pushy, or overstep any boundaries. (After all, how can I help if I lose him as my friend?)

 

But as I studied that verse sheet Romans 15:1-3 jumped out at me. I am commanded to bear the infirmities of the weak. But in the same breath I am commanded not to please myself. I am to please that person to HIS edification. Not my edification. I’m not to bear his burden so I can fill some void, to appease some longing in my heart, to quench some worries?

No, I am to bear the infirmities of my weaker friends for their edification.

 

May God enable me to remove myself from the picture. May God enable me to launch out in service to my fellow brethren, but for the right motives.

 

Another thought God presented was the fact that even Christ didn’t please himself when he bore the reproaches of the men that reproached us.

From the surface, I am assuming this is a reference to Calvary. So, think about it. Christ was beaten and killed so we could have a sacrifice for salvation.
I kind of always assumed it was dual purpose(and no, not a selfish reason that we, as finite beings, would assume). One was to, obviously, save us. And second so we, His creation, would be able to spend eternity with him.

But, this verse says he didn’t accept those reproaches to please himself. He did it for us. How humbling is that? The God of the universe, that knows all, is all, loves all, is everywhere, is love, is patience and power…that God…He bore our infirmities on the cross…for us as his motivation? Not because he wanted us to be with him for his pleasure, but for our benefit.

Wow.

 

Anyway, that’s what God has recently laid on my heart: Serve others for others’ edification. I hope God can speak to you through this. Life would be tons easier if everyone had a friend they could lean on, who can bear their burdens with them. Someone who will ignore their own pleasures, but seek to help them, to edify them.

 

-Kevin

(Titleless)

There may be times in your life where you’ve realized you’ve done so many wrong things. So many things that are sin against people. So many things that you forget every instance of such sin. But you’re sure it has been committed.

 

I’m there now. Reading back on a conversation I had months ago with a friend on an instant messenger showed me I had a major pride issue. I was right about such-such thing, everyone was inherently wrong over it.  I kept bringing the conversation back to myself—in a positive light or negative.  You might have said something about yourself, a flaw in your character, a struggle you might’ve had, but I was oblivious to it and continued on with my own matters.

 

If that describes a conversation I had with you, whoever is reading this, then I apologize. It was one of those sins that sneaked under the radar of “bigger” sins in my life. I even remember this trend going as far back as when I was 13 or 14.

 

But this isn’t a “smaller” sin. In fact, God speaks very strongly against it in His word. “An high look and a proud heart…is sin,” “The Lord shall destroy the house of the proud.”

Perhaps the reason God hates it so much is because it was the first sin that snagged the hearts of his creation. Satan exalted himself above God and consequently caused himself to be exiled from Heaven. (Was it no wonder that Satan tried to lure Jesus Christ into the trap of pride?)

 

Pride cloaks itself in various forms. I’ve noticed my pride before, but sometimes I haven’t. Like how often I truly bring the attention back to myself. How often I try to make myself look good, or try to keep eyes on me(even if it means degrading myself).

 

I will try to open my eyes to my pride. If I have driven you to a distance away from me because of it, I ask for your forgiveness, and to give me another shot. If you felt you couldn’t talk to me about things that truly mattered because of this, then forgive me also. I will try to only listen to what you say, and speak when you want me to(about the matter).

 

 

If you feel hurt over anything I’ve done(proudly or elsewise) please confront me. I don’t want our relationship to be weathered because of blindness.

 

 

-Kevin

A Love that Proves

The world generally has to see things to believe it. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Discretion is needed to sift out falsehoods. Therefore there is a desire for proving facts of the proposed phenomenon.

The fact that we are sinners deserving of hell is unbelievable. Who is to say there is actually a hell.

The fact that there is a God who loves us sinners despite ourselves is unbelievable.

The fact that God loves us enough to send His son to Calvary to die for us is unbelievable.

The fact that Jesus rose from the dead is unbelievable.

The fact that Jesus wants to save us—and will when we call on him, depending on His works, not ours—is unbelievable.

And because it is all unbelievable, the world desires proofs. One can argue nature is proof of God and proof of His power; one can argue a number of similar proofs, but those can be brushed aside, re-categorized.

However, our actions and reactions are great proofs. But they prove both sides: God loves and there is no God.

Everyone notices others. You go into the library and see a man sitting. How he acts, talks and looks describe him. He may jump up and help someone who just dropped their stack of books. You take note of him to be a polite man.

But the person who is being helped takes note of something else: love and genuineness. Just last week he bullied the polite man’s younger brother. And the day before he keyed the man’s car for whatever reason. Despite that, the man helped with his books, the man showed love. Like many times before, that man handed him a tract, insisting he read over it. Instead of shoving it back, it was accepted because there was proof of a love inside the man that was abnormal—supernatural.

Matthew 5:16 says to let our lights shine. Why? So the world can see our good works and in turn glorify God.

You can proclaim God’s love with your lips, but if the listening party does not see it shown in your life, they will shrug it off.

However, loving others will be evidence of difference. If you, life God, love despite shortcomings, they may understand more of God’s love. If they didn’t see your love, though, would they be attracted to the supposed love of God? Doubtfully.

Your loving others is proof to God’s love. Your hating others disproves His love.

Perhaps that is why Jesus says loving God and others are the greatest commandments.

 

But let me finish this nugget with another thought. The world isn’t the only group that needs proof of things. Christians need it, too.

You say you care. You say God is love. But they won’t accept it if you don’t show it. If you neglect them, or shove your own agenda on them, they will soon disbelieve your claim of care for them.

If you live a life where the love of God doesn’t shine through your being, they will soon question if God really is love. After all, if he was, wouldn’t he demonstrate such love?

God demonstrates his love by the death of his son. God is shown to be love when we let the light of his love shine forth. If we are negative, hateful, prideful, self-consumed the light of God’s love will have a hard enough time shining through the murky window of our lives.

Open your eyes, soften your hearts. There are people hurting. There are people wishing you cared. There are people lying to your face, but longing for you to see through that lie and care for them. There are people with breaking hearts. There are people uncertain of the future, uncertain of God, uncertain of life. There are people who NEED you, but you had a bad day, you stubbed your toe, you got a bad grade, your car broke down, you’re having issues with submission to authorities and you are thus having a crummy time.

The light of God’s love cannot shine through your life’s window murky with self-consumption, pride, anxiety.

Take off the blinders. Wash off your life’s window. People need you to listen. People need you to care. If they can’t find care from you, do you think they will find the care they desire from God if His people aren’t caring?

 

Are we not the body of Christ? If so, ‘Why aren’t his arms reaching, why aren’t His hands healing, why aren't His words teaching, why aren't His feet going, why is His love not showing them there is a way?” (—Casting Crowns, ‘If We Are the Body’)

Don’t put a dark veil over God’s love. Rip it up, and add mirrors to reflect more of the light! Let God’s love shine like the sun through you. Let God’s love empower your love. Love others! Don’t keep your eyes closed to the hurt of our brothers and sisters in Christ any longer.

 

Let them know that is God is love through your love. Clean up your life’s window so the light of God’s love can shine brighter than the sun. (Can I say it enough?)

 

They. Need. To. Know. You. Care. Show them. Love them. Let them know God is love.

Which gameplan are you following?

There are 2-3 gameplans in life. One is God's, one is yours and the third is Satan's. Satan's gameplan is for you to focus on something other than God. Your (flesh's) gameplan is self-gratification. God's gameplan is obedience to Him.

Life is filled with battles. It can be victorious battles, or defeated battles. The times you lose are the times you rely on gameplans invented by Satan or yourself. The times you are victorious are the times you rely on gameplans invented by God.


For human relations, God's gameplan is love.(Rom 13:8-10) Flesh's is self-feel-good(explanation due in a few sentences). Satan's is hatred ultimately, though he may resort to Flesh's gameplan if the human is so dogmatic against his that he ignores the subtle gameplan of Flesh's.

Now, an explanation of self-feel-good. Humans(or at least this human) thrives on love and acceptance. We want others to love us, and we want a number(small or great) of people(friends) we can rely on for comfort and happiness. When we focus on human relations as avenue for such "self-feel-good," we become consumed with making ourselves feel good. We seek out people who will do just that; we, perhaps, wonder whether we make good impressions so we can keep those people in our lives; we do things to advertise our "worthiness" to be loved and accepted(whether those actions are "innocent" or not).

Wanting friends is not bad. Being consumed by them where your every action is determined by, or reflected upon your relations with your friends is. (John 12:42-43; Gal. 1:10; Matt 6:5-6)

Another area of life that there is a gameplan for is in your thought life.
God's game plan is laid out in Philippians 4:8(Pure, just, lovely, honest, of good report, virtuous, praiseworthy). Satan's game plan is the opposite of those things(Impure, unjust, appalling, false, of bad reputation, of no virtue, lacking worth of praise). Flesh's game plan is prideful thoughts.

When we follow Flesh's game plan of prideful thoughts, we become just that--proud. And pride is an abomination to God. Pride comes in various forms, but the root is an undue focus on self(That's both constant depression and self-exaltation). Flesh wants the focus on itself, and if there be shortcomings of sin, the "good" will be highlighted, and/or others will be brought down to a level below us.

Satan's plan is easy to see--it's everything opposite of God's gameplan. So thoughts of hatred, impurity, dishonesty, or thoughts that would cause our character to falter are within his game plans. It's easy to follow this, because Satan can use situations in life to prod us into thinking his way.

God's game plan is laid out, as said previously, in Philippians 4:8 ("Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. ")

I think we can derive something from that last phrase as well. Instead of praiseworthy things(which may or may not be the true meaning), our thoughts should be that of praise. We should consume our minds with thoughts of praise to God.



Don't live life trying to figure out how to live right. It has, for the most part, already been plainly revealed. In life, how we live ought to be in obedience to God. In human relations, how we live ought to be in love. In our thought life, how we live/think ought to be in truth, honest, justice, purity, loveliness, good reputation, virtue, and ought to be in praise to God.


-Kevin